If I’ve learned anything from years of role playing games… it’s that some adventures end early.

…so I picked up a cheap set of aluminum crochet hooks on Amazon, the yarn my daughter snagged at Michael’s, and started down this road, not knowing whether I’d stick with crochet or not.

The First Mistake

Yarn.

I looked up a beginners crochet tutorial online, picked up my 10mm hook and my skein of super bulky gradient-colored yarn, and spent 30 grueling minutes desperately trying not to catch my hook in the fibers.

I managed a disgustingly messy chain 10 and frayed the hell out a solid yard of the yarn.

I mentioned my problem to some yarn friends.

“Yeah… that isn’t the best yarn for a fresh newbie. Try some normal worsted weight instead, until you get the hang of it.” was their reply.

Let me just say… that was good advice. Like… really good. I should have Googled “best yarn for beginners” level good. It was pretty obvious that the soft, thick, pretty yarn my daughter had snagged from the clearance bin was terrible for a beginner.

Worsted weight yarn is much easier to manage than that gorgeous super soft fuzzy stuff.

For any newbies reading this… I would also suggest sticking with single-color yarn at first. It’s easier to see your stitches, your mistakes, and eventually the little differences that result from variations in yarn tension and the like.

My lovely wife offered her yarn stash. And so I began on my first adventure in pink yarn.

The Second Mistake

Single crochet.

I made a square at first. Seemed logical… Practice a starting chain, single crochet a few rows… Figure out how to turn to a new row… (which is a skill that I struggled with for a long while).

Happy with the result of the square, on a whim I extended it longer and slip stitched the ends together, making a headband for my daughter. She loved it! I was a crochet success! I mean, my stitches weren’t super even, but I made a headband that didn’t fall apart when worn! I quickly set at making another in the same basic style, for my other daughter. Two headbands, done!

Then I decided to try out double crochet, and was utterly confused… I started asking people questions again.

Turns out those two headbands I did? Not single crocheted. Not remotely.

Back loop slipstitched.

Whoops.

For those unfamiliar with those terms… Slipstitch is a less complicated and looser stitch than single crochet. Back loop means that instead of attaching the new stitch to the old using both of its loops, I only used the one in back… resulting in an even looser weave.

The Third Mistake

Double crochet.

I didn’t let that mistake discourage me. The best way to learn is to fuck it up, figure out how you fucked it up, and fix it.

As long as nobody gets hurt in the process, of course.

(Luckily, nobody did.)

So I practiced single crochet in a few little play projects, made another headband, then moved on to double crochet.

Let me tell you… It took me a while to figure out how I screwed that one up.

I was looking up a crocheted flower tutorial on YouTube, and watching this woman’s hook move during a double crochet… I said “wait, what?”

I looped that section for a bit and then it hit me.

She was doing one more yarn over in the middle of the stitch than I had been doing.

I searched for double crochet tutorials. They all supported this woman’s method. I asked some people. After describing what I’d done vs what she’d done, some said “…what?”

Others said “… You did a half double crochet?”

I looked it up. Nope, I had not accidentally done a half double crochet.

I still haven’t figured out what this stitch is called, but… I mean, it works. If anyone knows, comment. It’s YO, insert into both loops, YO, pull through, pull through 1 extra loop, YO, pull through 2.

Whoops again.

The Fourth Mistake

This is a pretty simple one… hooks. Don’t go too cheap. I discovered after a few projects that my 5mm aluminum hook (that was part of a $5 10-hook set) was snagging yarn… because of a little divot in the tip.

Invest in a decent set of hooks. Find ones that feel good in your hand, however you choose to hold your hook. Buy them one at a time if you need to.

Your hooks are going to last you a long time… buy accordingly.

No More Mistakes Ever!

Ha.

Hahahahaha.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

No.

I continue to make mistakes, particularly when it comes to counting stitches… but I’m getting better at catching them quickly. Having made big, glaring mistakes early has been beneficial. I now have an eye out for warning signs of bad stitches, wrong stitches, and other mistakes. Every mistake I make, I know to watch out for more carefully as I proceed.

And having survived those trials, I’m now sure that this adventure is going to continue for quite a while.